"Strumming my pain with her fingers,Singing my life with her words,Killing me softly with her song,Killing me softly with her song,Telling my whole life with her words,Killing me softly with her song ... " How did she know she was "singing my life with her words"?I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that my beginning was his end
After all, we were just friends.
Although, in my world I was his girl
So, I would pretend to be his wife and saying silly things like...
”It’s only so many years in a woman’s life,”
Right, so I gave him five
Yet, he had the audacity to step to me on this Donnell Jones, “I don’t know where I wanna be type shit.”
It wasn’t supposed to be like this
He hit me with the forehead kiss
Told me life was a journey and he was ready to explore this shit
And I was pissed
To me he was a hypocrite like a fake preacher in the pulpit and he left me sick
I start pullin’ out Tupac hits tellin’ me to keep my head up and
R. Kelly picks about when a woman gets fed up
‘C ause I was down with him for so long that I didn’t think I could get up
‘Til one day I got tired of sleeping on pillows that my tears had wet up and realized that life goes on And no, he didn’t choose me but that doesn’t make him right nor wrong
And just because he was the epitome of my life, doesn’t make me wrong nor right
Like I said, I was his friend not his wife
And I should have acted within that capacity and
Maybe then this break-up would’ve been “just one of those things” instead of a fuckin’ tragedy
And all the time I spent mad at him– I should’ve been mad at me
After all, I was the one that gave him the key to my house and
Let him hang clothes in my closet just in case we go out
Not to mention washing all his dirty clothes just “to make a full load,” and
Letting him finish off all the leftovers, just “so the food don’t go old”
For the times that we raw dogged ‘cause he “lost all the rubbers”
And though I showed him more support than his own father, brother, sister, and mother
And just ‘cause those same people dialed my number when they’re trying to get in touch
And he received mail at my address “just cause he sleeps here so much”
Got total control of the remote control to the TV, DVD, and radio
And even though his name is not on my lease, he has shit in my house that’s off limits to me
Like his “side of my bed” and his “stash of weed”
And I better not touch his shoe box, Fruitloops, mouthwash, or toothbrush
He even had his own set of towels
But, none of this obligates him to me ‘cause not once did we exchange vows
And if I knew then what I know now, I probably would’ve listened
When he said it was some “shit” he had to get out of his system
But, I was too busy bitchin’, jumpin’ bad like I was gonna hit him
Because in the back of my mind all I could fathom was how much I was going to miss him
So, just because I’m crying doesn’t mean that I’m the victim
It just means I was scared to let him go ‘cause some other chick might get him
And that was my fault because it was my decision
I should’ve never put my heart in my mind’s position
And regardless to where we went wrong...I was all the way gone
Doing stupid shit like checking pants pockets and returning missed calls on his phone
Like I was Inspector Gadget
But, I couldn’t shake him– he was like a bad habit
And all this for a nigga that was just average and doing average shit
Like talking out the side of his neck and thinking with his dick
But, I must admit, he was the one I wanted to commit so
Either I wasn’t living up to my potential or I was just the average chick
But I chose to believe I was a woman caught up in a feeling
Both physical and emotional and was way to willing to give her all to a man
And though it may sound stupid, I would do it all again
Just next time for my husband and not that nigga I call my friend
************************************************************************
I’m tired of peeking out my window and seeing shadows of you
I can't roll out with my girls without checking my rearview
Your callin', breathin' all hard on my phone like I can't hear you
And every time I hit the club you just happen to be there too
All I wanted was to see us through
But when I needed you
I had to compete with clubs, drugs, the streets and PS2
Out chasin’ women with your weak ass crew
I guess when you’re in Rome you do what the Romans do
But, they go home alone--just like you
Wishing they would’ve held on--just like you
Probably callin’, playin’ on phones–just like you
I’m so through dealing with niggas– just like you
And I’ve had a few niggas--just like you
Had the ballin’ type, who call all night and keep claimin’ he’s coming through
Had the CEO, who would bring me dough cause he always had something to prove
Had the so-called god-man, that think he can do everything God can
So he closer to God than the church man,
Had the meet me at the poetry spot down to earth man
Had the man from the club who was only good for a fuck
Had the street man who kept claiming he was down on his luck
Had the playa with no goals, no heart, just game
Had the 24 in the studio on his way to fame
Had the control freak who thought he could keep me on a chain
Had a man that lied so much I don’t even know his real name
But fuck it ‘cause at the end of the night they all made me feel the same
I had a million things to lose and not a damn thing to gain
I guess DMX said it best, you gotta let a dog roam
But many nights you never found your way home
You left me to fight this war alone
I sacrificed my own blood and sweat
Yet, you wanna collect benefits like you was the Vet
Poppin’ off at the mouth sayin’ shit Ja-Rule would’ve said
Like “love is pain” and “pain is love”
I tell you I need you and I watch your shoulders shrug
I tell you I’m leavin’ and you call my bluff
I tell you many men want me
You say ‘they can have you then’
So when you beg me to come back I tell you I gotta man
Not just a lover but a friend
The closest person to me so I call him my next of kin
and I know you think you own this
But guess what, he put it in
And represented for all men
Even those that act like boys but we still call men
And he goes all out for me so when he needs me I'm all in
Cause we went from walkin to runnin' in spaces we used to crawl in
You think you gone fall in feedin' me bullshit sprinkled with game on it
But, when he hit it he wrote his name on it
I was committed when he put his brain on it
He and I will parade the streets and I’ll be damned if you rain on it
you say it ain’t over yet
I’m not concerned with your threats
you can come here filled with hot air
but you’ll leave tryin’ to catch your breath
I told you I was close to empty
But you wouldn’t believe ‘till there was nothing left
To busy pokin’ out your chest
What kind of man chooses the streets over hot meals and good sex
Look, I know you have regrets
I’m not going to throw it in your face----hell, I wish you the best
But him for you is like more for less
I just can’t do it
You had your chance but you blew it
Deep inside I think you knew it was killing me
But, silly me
I couldn’t see the forest for the trees and
I didn’t know I was cut so deep until I began to bleed
I guess they left out all the snakes in the story of birds and bees
So you can cry me a river
Nigga, cry me a sea
But, that’s the last time I’ll love a nigga
That, ain’t got love for me.
